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If there is one household item that can get guys in trouble it is the simple ladder. As the years go on, wives begin to regard the ladder as a danger to their mature and possibly inept handyman-husbands. For some reason they begin to believe that mature men shouldn’t be climbing ladders and wives of any age feel that without giving their safety hints, there might be an accident.

As much as I hate to admit it, there is some truth to it. In the olden days, I would fly up a ladder and now I go up a ladder slowly. That has nothing to do with apprehension, however. It is a case of deteriorating sense of balance, achy legs and knees.

There is a difference between men and women in terms of ladder safety. Most women believe that safe use of a ladder means that you have both feet firmly planted on the rungs or steps. For men, on the other hand, ladder safety is having one foot on the ladder, one hand holding on to whatever is available and the other hand free to work.

Now I have heard women say that it is a macho thing with men, but that isn’t the case at all; it is a matter of time saving. Why waste time to go down the ladder, move it, go back up and finish the job when you can hold on with your fingernails? Actually it all comes down to getting the job done.

I thought I’d do a little research on the history of ladders. If you Google “history of ladders” you get lots of entries, but all of the entries are selling ladders.

What I was able to discover is that ladders date back to prehistoric times. The ladder was probably one of the first “quality of life” inventions. Someone came up with the idea that lashing branches together and climbing up a rock was easier and safer than scrambling up the side of a cliff. If you visit cliff dwellings anywhere you’ll see modern versions of the ladders giving visitors access to the caves.

I was able to find that while the stepladder probably had existed for years, the first patent was granted to John H. Balsey in Dayton, Ohio, on Jan. 7, 1862. There was no information about Balsey’s business successes or failures.

It seems that ladders are something that is taken for granted and while being around for ions, ladders have changed greatly. If you remember not many years back, wooden ladders were very heavy and clumsy. Much of that has changed with lightweight aluminum ladders. At some time in the dark history of the device, someone came up with the idea of making an extension to the ladder, which simplified handling and safety. Materials continue to change with lightweight aluminum and plastic ladders. I wonder if any ancient tool has changed as much as the ladder has over the years.

This got me thinking about my most embarrassing moment with a ladder. Years ago I was painting a rental house we owned in McPherson. It was getting late and I wanted to finish and make the hour drive back to Mulvane where we were living. I apparently leaned a little bit too far trying to finish that last spot when I fell. No, I wasn’t hurt, but I was lying on the grass covered with paint.

A small child of the folks who lived there was watching and turned to his mother and pointed out: “mans fall.” I don’t know why, but that struck me as funny, even though I faced an unpleasant time trying to get enough paint off so that I could drive home without changing the interior of my car from gray to white. As bad as I hate to admit it, that fall did teach me a lesson. From that time on, I was a bit more careful when it came to ladders.

Now, the only time I get out that ladder is to clean the gutters and to install and remove Christmas decorations. I think I’ll leave the painting and high work to younger folks.

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